for where i go . . . Self goes . . .

for where i go . . . Self goes . . .

time is accelerating

and i feel it’s push

it’s incessant nudging

to fall into the flow

this is when i seek stillness

i wish but to observe

that i may reckon myself

with my self

i stand in the light

and shadows are cast

there is more of me that one in me

and none are real

they are but etheric illusions

reflecting my dark from within

i wish but to observe

that i may reckon my self

with my self

i sit here with a head full of thoughts

and there is a multitude more

standing in line

waiting their turn to have audience

with my reason

what is the reason

that these thought vie so vehemently

for my attention

it seems that the more i ignore them

the more fervent they become

i wish but to observe

that i may reckon myself

with my self

i like most of us have questions

about so many things

usually prefaced by “Why”

that does not seem to matter as much any more

but to know when would be good

like when is this why going to be revealed

and the veil of this illusion repealed

and the book of our truth be unsealed

i wish but to observe

that i may reckon myself

with my self

yes i used to pray

beg for things

was never really quite sure what i really wanted

an in an undaunted way

each day

i would recite and say the same things

“Dear God”

Please

and now they tell me

of the New Rule

of the New School

that God is within me

i never saw Him

or Her

and if i defer to this New Way

of this quickening Day

will i be damned

like they told me i would

it’s all good

for now

i wish but to observe

that i may reckon myself

with my self

i reflect back

to that distant time of childhood

and the Joy of Living

of all that life was giving

with anticipation

of the coming of each new episode

each new day

i could not wait

and here i am now

quite a different me

waiting to see

if those times will return

caught in a vortex

of things that perplex my soul

so . . .

i wish but to observe

that i may reckon myself

with my self

these days i find it difficult to sleep

for it is my metaphor for missing the bus

or the Train

or the Ship

and if i should slip off

into that unconscious state

forever

what is to be the fate

of those days i have been longing for

who will hold the door

that it may not close on me

so i keep my eyes open

scoping for change

yes

i wish but to observe

that i may reckon myself

with my self

the Tuesday Muses are here again

quite the friendly type

through their whisperings

the hype is dispelled

and my soul felt anxieties are quelled

and hope is spelled out

in the words they offer

i trust them explicitly

but in my state of felicity

i am not as complicit

as  perhaps i should be

i realize

i wish but to observe

that i may reckon myself

with my self

for if i do not reckon self

then what have i gained

or learned

what is the next evolutionary step

in this experience

upon my path

is it my truth

that all that i see

feel

touch

hear

smell

and sense

is all that i hath

or is there more

beyond that door that i feel

is about to open ?

and my friends

this is why . . .

i wish but to observe

that i may reckon myself

with my self

for where i go

Self goes . . .

© 16 March 2011 : William S. Peters, Sr.