I remember about 10 years ago, my Grandson got a Brand New bicycle for his birthday. As a proud and happy grandfather i watched him in his moments of wonder as he enjoyed his joys of discovery. I watched as he was attempting all types of tricks, and it made me reflect upon my self and the many years ago i occupied such focused wonder. As i watched him try doing wheel stands, there must have been some delusional trigger that went of within me, for i got up from my safe and comfortable position of museful observation and i convinced my self somehow that i was going to show him how it is done. He, my grandson readily embraced the idea of being offered the finite secrets of how to become a master (show off) of the “Wheel Stand”. Well . . . . laying there in the middle of the street so that i could get a good view of the Clouds and whatever else was up there . . . i do think i saw the Stars and Moon as well. I got up and dusted of my bruised remnants of pride and collected my “Grandfatherly” cloak of humility amongst the tears of laughter . . . well, you can see the picture . . .
This morning i was speaking with a friend when this analogy came to me. You see, our Divinity is somewhat like this example i just shared with you. when i think about this Bicycle experience, i realize with the utmost clarity, now, that i had truly led my self to believe something that was not true. I was truly deluded by my self created illusions. Now, when Truth smacked me up beside my head, or was it the pavement . . . . well either way, in my “awakening” process, i was forced to acknowledge my short comings. I then was confronted with a few choices in my newly discovered reality. I could go on to practice and become once again proficient in the arena of doing “Wheel Stands”. But in truth this was beyond my level of desire. I had no inkling whatsoever to get on a bike again to learn anything. I was not willing to make the uncomfortable sacrifices to get back in touch with the allusion of “i can do that”. Damn . . . that was too much work. That would require me being dedicated to the task, and i was much too much into my “me-ness” and comfortable “self deluded” lifestyle.
When i looked closely at this picture, it was very easy for me to realize that as much as i dreamed or convinced my self about my physical prowess, i was “NOT” in touch ! Needless to say i then somehow transferred this abrupt insightful lesson i was taught some ten years ago into my “Today”. I began to question who i was and who i am in reference to my “Spiritual” “BE”ing. Was i being truthful with my self ? Were my “Self” analogies and reflections and introspections clear and lucid ? The next question that came to me, is “How would i know?”. What is the barometer upon which one can reconcile such questions. I began to ponder the same position i took about that fatefully rewarding Bicycle episode. I needed to practice.
Many time i like so many of us think that by Reading, Conversation, Prayer, Sermon, Teaching or watching a You Tube Video, we are somehow getting in touch with our higher “Self”. Perhaps we are . . . if it causes us to reflect in Silence i think. I though about all the things of Creation that may help me mitigate through all the Noise and Subterfuge of life. What i was looking for is that Gem that shines in the Darkest of Night and the Brightest of Day. As i pondered a bit more, a Silence came about me. was this because i was “Diligently Seeking” . . . or because i was “Allowing”? Me thinks it was a fine balance of both. I then went for a walk to commune with Nature. I find at these time, there is nothing better that spending some time in a Wood, near the Ocean, on a Mountain, in a Flower Garden, or just taking my shoes off and walking in the Dirt or Grass. I find that these times put me very quickly in the “Being” set or “mind set” to be able to receive. You see it is like a Spiritual Practice of sort . . . like a Tune up of my Soul. Why you can even do such things as listen to your Breath, turn a faucet on and listen to the water as it cascades into the Sink or wherever it is going. Sometimes i will even take a shower and focus on my connection with the Spirit of the Water beating upon my consciousness. I will usually meditate and pray for clarity at these times. I most certainly love Stormy Days and Rain. All these are like lamps upon this path that i travel that ushers forth a deeper reverence and gratitude for life it’s self and the Creational Beauty and Perfection of it all. After these sessions, i feel spiritually connected and i again feel that i am rolling along with the Cycle of Life as one symbiotic movement. I am empowered ! I have a Brand New Bike and i again feel like i can do “Wheel Stands”.
(c) 2 December 2010 : William S. Peters, Sr.