Living with Hope
Many years ago as a young man i live with a Loving and Divine One named Hope. She was truly my ultimate Lover. Wherever she went, there i was . . .wherever i was there she was at my side within and without. Oh what a Joy she was to my life. Every moment in her presence was “Truly Magical”. There was nothing that seemed to be able to stain my countenance, for she was the very Strength of my Soul. She was continually Encouraging in all aspects of all of my Life. Yes, she was the Music of my Heart and the Light of my Footsteps. Why i really Believed that i could Fly, as long as i held her in my Heart. Oh how i loved my Hope. As our affair developed into deeper meaning and purpose we had no other alternative but to move in together. She moved in to the heart of all of who i am as i did her. I can not begin to tell you about the Dreams we shared, our Visions, Desires and Aspirations. We, together knew that nothing . . . .NOTHING could overcome our Joys we shared. Truly, in our Minds and Hearts we believed that “All Things Were Possible”! We even procreated and were blessed with two lovely daughters . . . Joy and Melody. What a loving Family of Divine Goodness we had become. We gave to each other and others in a Charity that was bigger than our Hearts. Our Faith in each others Love was unequivocally without question . . . until that day . . .
Though i was happy, Joyful and full of all a Man should ever need and want, i was very vain. I somehow in all the Favor and Grace i had been Blessed with, deludedly began to believe that i was something beyond “Self”. I became “Selfish”. I even began to have unbalanced expectations of the one i loved so much . . .Hope. I began to demand that she be the energy that carried me through my “Self Created” “Dark Times”. Eventually, being so immersed in my own wayward Gratifications and Pleasures, Hope became a secondary and at times of tertiary importance to my life. Then i met this young tart named Avarice. What a insatiable lustful winch she was. She introduced me to things that Hope and i never even thought of. I was smitten! It seemed that i was also bitten by some type of Viral Darkness that kept me running back for more. In hindsight, i have come to realize that it was because i was never really satisfied nor completed. Oh she had all the moves that makes up the desirous driving penchant one presumably seeks. In my soul i somehow knew that i had become a lecherous self serving, self idolizing fool. Needless to say . . . Hope left. I seemingly did not notice her absence . . . .sad !
After much time of indulging in this particular life style, i met one Avarice after another . . .the list seemed endless. It was as if she had been cloned. As my heart and my legs became weary with all the running, i often found my self sitting alone contemplating and reflecting upon where i was and where i came from. I could not help but start to weep for the long lost memories of the Hope, Joys and Melodies that once graced my life. What a self indulgent fool i had been. How did this all happen? I found my self often thinking of my lost family . . . my Hope, My Joy and my Melody. I knew where i had erred . . . that was quite evident. It is simply the putting of my Self and the carnal pleasures i indulged in with my own masturbatory behavior. And yes, i still, even in this revelation found my self still spiritually, mentally and emotionally thinking of my long lost Hope. As time went forth, a funny thing happened. My beloved Hope came by for a brief visit. It was like a ray of Godly Light right from the Old Man’s Heart Himself. Upon opening the door, i also found that my heart had been opened as well. My Joy and my Melody accompanied her. I was dancing like David. Being totally “awestruck” at my good fortune and blessings, i began to babble about my sorrows and my fears and past regrets about my journey. I was truly humbled and reverent in Her, Hope’s presence . . . their presence. Then Hope spoke . . . My Beloved One. It was not i who was lost . . . it was you. Know that i have always been here with you . . by your side . . .in your heart patiently waiting for your awakening from that Dark Deep Abyss you so concisely have found to be “Self”! The Journey to come to know “Self” is quite a mystical and quixotic adventure. many a man before you has undertaken this journey to never return nor be heard from again. Self is like a Void that can never be charted. It is a place not to be indulged in, but observed. It’s landscapes are ever changing and do not always adhere to the perceived Laws of Being. To Be is found in the stillness of quiet observation. Wisdom is not always gathered in the doing as much as it is in the gathering it’s self. My Love, you were very fortunate and truly graced by a presence greater within you than that of the world. Embrace this truth and you will come to know the true essence of Self. I must let you know, that i am the Child of my Father. He told me a long time ago that He was always with me. I did not understand it in it’s entirety then, and i do not always understand it now . . . but my Father i Trust ! Me, Hope being His Child, i wish you to know the same. I, Hope am always with you my Love. Trust in me . . .Trust in that which is within you, and you shall never be lost, for with you is a light that permeates all darkness . . . even that of “Self”!
Epilogue :
This is but a Story. But within and in between the lines is something i wish to affirm for us all as well as my own “Self”.
We never have to live without Hope . . . for she is our Life’s Joy and Our Life’s Melody.
BTW . . .Hope’s Mother’s name is “LOVE” !
(c) 2010 : William S. Peters, Sr.
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