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Sunday, January 9, 2011

Today i lost my faith

Today i lost my faith

i look around at this world
my world
and i see suffering
yet there is hope
i see Hunger and Famine
and they tell me to just pray
i see Brothers of the same Father
killing their Divine Family Members
and they tell me to hold on to my Faith
well, today i lost my Faith

Is it my Faith that will make a change
as i get down on my Knees to pray to something unseen
and perhaps not known
i do know that there is something greater
i feel it within the core of who i am
but how, just how do i activate this power ?
this hour, this minute, right now

many will tell you that we have the power within
that we must move away from our sin
me, i just wish to awaken
from this nightmare we call life
to move away from the strife
and into a reality of permanence
laced with Joy
embraced by all
who hears this call
for change
Today i lost my faith

The old ways do not seem to work
for me
you see
there is no certainty
that the veil will be removed
that the Sail of our Ships of Hope
shall gather a wind
that takes us to that promised land
perhaps it is i who does not understand
but with all due certainty
we will all die
some day . . . some how
Today i lost my faith

i have laid down my life of old
many times before
as i examine the soul of who i am
in theses feeble rhymes
from the heart of a man
a Hued-man
and still i stand here
with my color and song
singing hymns of praise and joy
my life long

and still yet the relief i seek
may be here with me this week
but next week it comes late
it has vacated the everlasting
while the saints have been fasting
for a million years
and all the tears of us ordinary people
who have acquiesced to being the sheeple
of something perhaps still yet unknown
have i not my garden kept
even while my anguish has slept
at some time we all have wept
have not my seeds of hope been sown
Today i lost my faith

i spoke with a friend
about this very same situation
there was nothing uplifting
to that elevation with elation we sought
or have been taught
and i bought it
until now
in my vexation
Today i lost my faith

they say life is a present
but at times i must question
who wrapped this gift
for it seems
that all the goodness
can only be embodied in dreams
so as we drift once again to sleep
there is a despair type symphony
and i hear your soul weep
for what it once had
from January to December
and back again
Today i lost my faith

don’t get me wrong
it is Faith that changes the tune of this song
i hear through my doubts and my fear
and many a tear
has been shed
upon the pillow on my bed
and where is this Bridegroom of Spirit
that i must wed
if it is within
then let us bring it on my friend
why the shyness of spirit
i know you are there
for the drum beat, i hear it
i march daily
attempting to attune my “Self” with “i” Self
to some ethereal avail
and the children of Source continue to wail
the children who have embodied such things as
greed, war, child prostitution
in this convoluted institution
the children of slavery
i will behave

just pray they say
have faith in the seen and the unseen
well i am tired of being blind
i wish to leave all this shit behind
i wish to clear this vexed mind
and that of my brothers and sisters too
you know what i mean
i need to touch, taste, smell and fully sense
without recompense
this mean unseen love for me
that keeps playing this game of hide and seek
am i not being diligent
Today i lost my faith

what i do know that is without my faith
this stuff is somewhat unbearable
and we realize our fears
the same ones who have been sitting
on the other side of our consciousness
all these years
as i walk this path
taking an inventory for all i have
have had
yes i am somewhat glad and thankful
for i do hold the visions in my eyes
of something greater to come
and i recognize
that our sum
is much greater than the collective
and from one soul to another
this is not selective
nor discriminatory
for the story is not about our differences
but of our similarities
without disparity
and with an absolute clarity
we must embrace each other
without reservation
nation to nation
culture to culture
gender to gender
from abundance to nothingness
from indifference to deference
if we are to change this mess
and if this is but a test
we must pass
as one
to get this done
and though Today i lost my faith
i have found my Power
and that is my Love . . .
for you

Today i lost my faith

(c) 9 January 2011: William S. Peters, Sr.

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