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Tuesday, March 27, 2012

a parent’s tears . . a parent’s fears

a parent’s tears . .  a parent’s fears

the anger and indignation aside
i can not hide
from this anguish
i must bear

and no matter the volume of tears
the volume of my love
can never again be fulfilled
for my son
was killed

i think, i think, i think
this can not be true
can it ?

a night mare
of hurt

i go to his room
expecting him to be there
playing video games
or sleeping
and he is not

oh i have not forgotten him
the walls remind me
for they are weeping too
for him
for me
for you

his bed is as he left it
shit !

Sneakers tossed about
i remember when i gave him the money
i said to him “honey isn’t that a bit much”
his hand touched mine
as i cosigned
to his dreams

it seems
like that was our last time

i remember the smile on his face
i could taste his joy
and pleasure
in my heart

that smile
is one of my cherished treasures
as are so many others

i carried him
for 9 months
seeing his face
and now
i never will again
for now i have only pictures
and memories
and my anger
but that will not make him come home

my thoughts roam aimlessly
without cease
and there is no peace within me
to be found

all i see is my son
laying face down
in the ground
that picture
will never leave my head
nor my spirit

his final words
i can hear it
playing over and over
his call
this shit hurts
it hurts
my Son is gone
and each day since
the dawn i have cursed

Lorde why
did my son have to die
this way
any way
any day

i look at his father
and i see Trayvon
i look at any son
and i see Trayvon
i close my eyes
and i see

he may be gone for you
but for me
he and i are bonded

the tears as a parent
offers no relief
for the belief of this travesty
is so surreal

people eulogize
express their hate
and empathy
when all i want God
is to see Trayvon
walk into this room
and remove this cloak of gloom
that has moved into my life
because of that night
when my son
and took my life’s Sun

a parent’s tears . .  a parent’s fears

© 27 March 2012 : William S. Peters, Sr.


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