for me . . .

this was inspired / sparked by a "Right Write" of Jamie Bond's  . . .

thank you. ♥

for me . . .

i was not the best of Husbands

nor was i the best of Fathers

but i was both

i was not the best of friends

with my mate,

for many times

i could have listened

and did not.

i could have gave more

and for some reason

i would not

could not

for something inside me

perhaps told me

i should not

Me was in the way.

the memories i conjure

i am sure

are quite self serving

and may not be deserving

but just the same

i would rather have you here

to hear you call my name

and i would answer

truly i would

i still call yours

in my sleep

my dreams

and i await your reply

i want to hear your voice again

caress my ears

and embrace these fears

i have been living with

without you

i can not deny this

for in my imaginings

you were the bliss

i never quite fully appreciated

my God, how i long to kiss

you again

it is the little things

i hold to

i can still smell you

in my presence

i guess that is a present

from God

i close my eyes

and i am taken back

to those little idiosyncrasies

of your behaviours

like that of your soft museful smile

and your endearing touch

which i miss soooooooooo much

why, even the way you walk

and the way you spoke to me

talked to me

stroked me

with your heart

your emotions

your thoughts

your spirit

your footsteps

i still hear it

hear them

in the hallways

of my memories

coming my way

so even if i am not deserving

of these enriched embraces

of times past

of you

i shall selfishly

hold on to them

and let no one

take them from me

for some times

many days

it is all i have

that gets me through

and i thank you

for sharing

that journey with me

that small piece of your life

that gift you gave to me

of your love

and your heart

your self

and though the occasion has past

as has the opportunity

to share my new

better self with you

i want you to know

that i am still working

on me

in the memory of you

and the memory

of who i used to be

i shall strive

to stay alive

to live

as a better Husband

a better Father

a better Friend

a better Man

for me

for the world

© 22 July 2012 : William S. Peters, Sr.

http://www.iaminnerchild.com/

http://www.innerchildpress.com/