13 Times

13 Times

13 times she attempted

to end it all

and 13 times no one paid real attention

not to mention

the aft counseling

did not touch her

where she needed it

instead they gave her scripts

so they would not have to touch

their own reality

nor acknowledge

their own frailties

another shit filled experience

she was left to endure

alone in so many ways

and for sure

# 14 is on it’s way

her days were dark

she hated the fucking park

where the “happy” children played

and chased those shitting pigeons

she wished she could fly

so she could shit

on the whole world

that had defecated on her dreams

right from the very beginning

they always told her

she was sinning

and would be dammed . . .

damn they were right

for she is damned

every damn day

and every damned night

all she wanted to do

was meet God

and ask a few questions

was that too much to ask ?

Jesus or Buddha would do

even you

if you have the time

but time hurts

and lasts far too long

for the Bird that can not sing

it’s song

she never did fit in to

any fucking thing

nor did she want to

for she was a very special Blue

she was an Indigo Child

cast to the wild

to fend for herself

she no longer bothered

defending herself

nor her esteem

nor her dreams

from all those assholes

she encountered

were busy

and adorned

with their plastic emotions

so she stopped dreaming

no, she did not bother to cajole them

with her reason

for season in

season out

they could not console her

nor abate her pain

the just could not understand

they had false hearts

she knew she did not belong here

someone made a mistake

she must have got on the wrong bus

the “In God We Trust” one

so in her circumspect conclusion

she had to escape this illusion

for she refused to delude herself

that people truly cared

and the only alternative she had left

was to count

13 times . . . .14

© 13 March 2013 : william s. peters, sr.

www.iamjustbill.com