on the “Fair Ways” of Life

on the “Fair Ways” of Life

i met you upon the fair ways of life

the day was bright and bonny

we made acquaintance

we share smiles

and “get to know you” conversation

we parted that day

but only for a while

for we made plans

to redress the address

of me knowing you

you knowing me

you see, it seemed

that love was perhaps getting a chance

to be redeemed

in our encounter

we spoke on the phone

and we shared our loneliness

as we decided

we no longer wished to hide

out from life

so we made a date

and God, just like you

i could not wait

so i invited you over

you came at 7

i was prepared

i was expecting heaven

and that is what i saw

when i opened

my door for you

damn you were beautiful

in all my blinded ways

but

little did i know

that the seed you had to sow

in my garden

was such a bitter fruit

you brought darkness

to my door

and you and your

convoluted disparaging angst

crossed my threshold

i felt it

yet still

i invited you in

cause i thought i needed you

we sat,

we talked,

we smiled the polite smiles . . .

we even laughed

and we . . .

and though the warning signs

were prevalent

i was lonely

and i needed someone

to touch

to hold

to share with

and hopefully

enfold

into my heart

so we pressed on

moved on

from 7:00 that evening

to the new dawn

to breakfast

it was all happening

so wonderfully fast

time skipped forward

and i thought

we were going toward

accomplishing

the vision of lovers

you know

that happily ever after

filled with love

and laughter

that was all i could think of

being loved

the right way

day and night

you were my objective

my fixation

the elation

of my dream come true . .

or should i say

the “we” in you and i

was where i wanted to be

you see,

i have been waiting

praying

anticipating

that this day would come

to my life

you know what i’m saying

i ain’t playing

this shit was and is serious

and you came along

with your sweetness

your song

and i forgot who i am

i was

cause

i was seriously delirious

furiously curious

like a man on a desert

i had desires

fires inside

that needed attending

i was broken

and i needed mending

but like so many other times

i put my trust

in the wrong things

i put it in you

instead of me

had i knew

we would come to this

i wonder now

would i have

sought that first kiss

that lead us down this road

while hoping for bliss

to ever be

damn i miss

the possibilities

of what could have been

but for me

like so many more of us

like i said

we trust in the wrong things

we trust in our head

our thinking

while slowly sinking

only to hold in disdain

the thoughts

that led us astray

many times i was aware

and there was a certain fear

that embraced my clarity

and the doubt and disparity

that loomed as a possibility

i would not have it

so i denied it

defied it

and now . .

i cry over it

shit !

the temporal delusions

were a happy place

with a happy face

yet in the end

the taste of the fruit

i now eat

is not sweet

nor replete

save for the lessons delivered

and i remember

those seemingly right turns

that i now see as wrong turns

and the road burns

along the way

but i must confess this

that even though

the bliss was an illusion

as is this confusion

i now speak about

i have no doubt

that i am the better for the experience

and for that i thank you

for through you

i have found another

piece of me

and hopefully i can learn to see

more of me

and less of that

glitz shit

on the “Fair Ways” of Life

© 27 April 2012 : William S. Peters, Sr.