on the “Fair Ways” of Life
i met you upon the fair ways of life
the day was bright and bonny
we made acquaintance
we share smiles
and “get to know you” conversation
we parted that day
but only for a while
for we made plans
to redress the address
of me knowing you
you knowing me
you see, it seemed
that love was perhaps getting a chance
to be redeemed
in our encounter
we spoke on the phone
and we shared our loneliness
as we decided
we no longer wished to hide
out from life
so we made a date
and God, just like you
i could not wait
so i invited you over
you came at 7
i was prepared
i was expecting heaven
and that is what i saw
when i opened
my door for you
damn you were beautiful
in all my blinded ways
but
little did i know
that the seed you had to sow
in my garden
was such a bitter fruit
you brought darkness
to my door
and you and your
convoluted disparaging angst
crossed my threshold
i felt it
yet still
i invited you in
cause i thought i needed you
we sat,
we talked,
we smiled the polite smiles . . .
we even laughed
and we . . .
and though the warning signs
were prevalent
i was lonely
and i needed someone
to touch
to hold
to share with
and hopefully
enfold
into my heart
so we pressed on
moved on
from 7:00 that evening
to the new dawn
to breakfast
it was all happening
so wonderfully fast
time skipped forward
and i thought
we were going toward
accomplishing
the vision of lovers
you know
that happily ever after
filled with love
and laughter
that was all i could think of
being loved
the right way
day and night
you were my objective
my fixation
the elation
of my dream come true . .
or should i say
the “we” in you and i
was where i wanted to be
you see,
i have been waiting
praying
anticipating
that this day would come
to my life
you know what i’m saying
i ain’t playing
this shit was and is serious
and you came along
with your sweetness
your song
and i forgot who i am
i was
cause
i was seriously delirious
furiously curious
like a man on a desert
i had desires
fires inside
that needed attending
i was broken
and i needed mending
but like so many other times
i put my trust
in the wrong things
i put it in you
instead of me
had i knew
we would come to this
i wonder now
would i have
sought that first kiss
that lead us down this road
while hoping for bliss
to ever be
damn i miss
the possibilities
of what could have been
but for me
like so many more of us
like i said
we trust in the wrong things
we trust in our head
our thinking
while slowly sinking
only to hold in disdain
the thoughts
that led us astray
many times i was aware
and there was a certain fear
that embraced my clarity
and the doubt and disparity
that loomed as a possibility
i would not have it
so i denied it
defied it
and now . .
i cry over it
shit !
the temporal delusions
were a happy place
with a happy face
yet in the end
the taste of the fruit
i now eat
is not sweet
nor replete
save for the lessons delivered
and i remember
those seemingly right turns
that i now see as wrong turns
and the road burns
along the way
but i must confess this
that even though
the bliss was an illusion
as is this confusion
i now speak about
i have no doubt
that i am the better for the experience
and for that i thank you
for through you
i have found another
piece of me
and hopefully i can learn to see
more of me
and less of that
glitz shit
on the “Fair Ways” of Life
© 27 April 2012 : William S. Peters, Sr.