a day in the life of consciousness
i have tasted the meal
offered to me in purgatory
i have traipsed down the pathways of my life
with Demons and Angels alike
i have created rainbows and darkness,
storms and sunshine
according to the will of mine own
i have sown seeds of goodness
in gardens wherever i went
i have also stepped on flowers
and pissed upon Temple walls
and the calls of my soul still prevail
yes the answers evade the world of
small conscious men
such as i
there were times i rebelled
and refused to raise my sails
to catch that good wind
and that is my only sin
each time i turned my back
on self
on that which was greater
than my small “i”
where my ego lies . . . in lies
i have jaundiced mine own eye
deliberately
by seeking the way
of the wayward
calling it fun
i have walked away from the Sun
for the light bothered me
and beckoned me to be accountable
when i just wished to be lazy
and party on instead
of letting that guilt in my head
i have endured over the years
the tears
the fears
and the queer little men
who whispered in my ears
there were
many foibles
stumbles & bungles
and out-right fuck ups
and i am no longer surprised
that i am still standing
for i have affirmed with a certainty
that there is
something that exists in me
that is greater than this world
shit . . . i made it this far
not of my own accord
and i held on to no chord
in my discordant ways
all these days
this body ushers forth it’s troubles
in the form of new sensations
aches, pains and questions
every day.
the challenges become numerous
but never overwhelming
for i choose to rise to greet them
face them
displace them
from my joy and gratitude
but sometimes my attitude
is just fucked up
truly
i am not saying that i can not be defeated
but it is unlikely for sure
for within me is a door
i always run to
that opens upon my command
if i can ever remember the words
when i enter that sacred place
that room
where doom does not exist
i exchange my burdens
and i am given
another lesson plan
that is up to me to study
and learn
as i discern
the difference
betwixt that
which is of this temporal illusory experience
and eternal truth
i wrote this poem on day back
titled . . .
“a poem about Everything”
simple it is
and here it is . . .
“everything is”
i probably could expound
and expand on it a bit,
but it is enough
don’t you think ?
this is a discourse
a meandering through
the inner of me
that child of me
who now stands to embrace me
regardless of me
and who me may think me is
this is . . .
so i quit wondering and wandering
and maneuvering through
the manure
and plant more seeds of hope
and this is . . . but . . .
a day in the life of consciousness
is it January yet ?
© 23 December 2013 : william s. peters, sr.