Notes on the Coffee Table
i woke up this morning
yawning
as usual
with the dawning Light
The bright Sun was beaming
through our window
making the call
to begin the tasks of the day
i rolled over
to where my Love
my Lover
should have been
and she was not there
i thought nothing of it
perhaps she was in the Bathroom
or the Kitchen
making ready
to do her daily thing
. . . Love me
loving me
and me loving her
i did detect the aroma
of Coffee wafting
through the air
and my face wrinkled
with an expectation
of seeing her again
her face
as i kissed her lips
and embraced her hips
as i drew her into my space
i held that vision
of we two
in the kitchen
and that first sip of Coffee
and a Cigarette
i went to the bathroom
brushed my teeth
washed my face
and i took a leak
flushed the toilet
and exited
and made my way
to where she would be
the Kitchen
My love, my Lover
was no where to be found
but i did smell those fresh grounds
steaming
as the Sun was beaming
through our Kitchen window
i wondered
where has my Love gone
i poured my self a cup
doctored it with
Sugar and Cream
as the steam
tickled my nostrils
i took a sip
lit me a cigarette
and puffed
inhaled
and sighed
i went to the Living Room
the room where we lived out
most of our days together
i sat on the couch
grabbed the Daily News
and i noticed
a neatly folded paper
sitting there waiting
for me
to investigate
what it was
and what it may have to say
i started to dismiss it
but i could not resist it
so i picked it up
and this is
what it said
My Dear Love
This morning i have awakened before you
instead of with you.
I have missed out on
our early morning greetings
and our session of love
but i did make you some
fresh coffee.
You are now more than likely
sitting on the couch
drinking your coffee
and reading this note
my heartfelt attempts
to share with you
my heart felt feelings
As much as i would love
to be with you
in these cherishable moments
of a new day
our new day
i am not
for i am embracing a new way
of my own.
Yes, i have awakened
this day
i have come to an Epiphanic realization
that i want more
i will not be forsaking
the potentials
of what i may become
i want more
things
to explore
why my Soul no longer sings
of it’s joy
during our routinous rehearsals
of the same old songs
we both know
all too well
i long to be young again
in love like a young school girl
on her first date
and of late
all i can think of
is possibilities
of what else i may be missing
life is short
this is what i have seen
this is not to say
i do not love you
for i do
deeper than i have ever loved another
and you gave it back to me
more than i have ever been loved
before
but it is you who opened that door
that spoke to me
awoke me
and showed me
a realm
where i am at the helm
of my life’s ship,
and i thank you
truly i do
but today i have awakened
and i saw the Sunshine
yes, the same old Sun
we see every day
and i wanted to go out
and play
in the fields of life
and feel the rife
of a Joy
i have yet to experience
and i know you do
understand
you will always be my man
and if you are there
when i return
if i choose to return
i will share with you
what i have discovered
about me
and then perhaps
we can uncover
a greater possibility
of what we may become
as One Love
and in closing
i am supposing
that there is a smile in your heart
as i depart to you
what my soul is saying
and speaking to me
and finally . . . i would like to
Thank you for reading this
Note on the Coffee Table
i love you
© 3 May 2013 : william s. peters, sr.
from The “Notes on the Coffee Table” Series
a note for you . . . i hope you “Get It” . . . get it ?
My Love,
i will not lament
and allow the energy of my confusion
and surprise
to suppress your potential joy
the best i may offer unto you
and life
is a blessing
of God Speed
and a Good Journey
as you wander in your wonder
seeking that which you always had
within you
i do understand your penchant to know
for all Souls should be graced
by the presence
and light
of the actualization
of their greater selves
that truly is a blessing
of the highest order
i shall make no promises
to be idle
and allow my soul to rust
in the trust
that you may return
for i too
do not wish to pick up old things
or sing old songs
for i too long for more
than what i have experienced
in my life thus far
there is no fault
to be had
and our love was far more
than a fad
it was
and is
still valid
for i gave you my heart
as you did for me
so in the end
or should i say
in the new beginning
be that what you wish to be
for you have always been free
to do that
smile at your self
and with your self
in your life path
with each foot step
mile after mile
and the world does smile
with you
so with this
until maybe then
i bid you adieu
it is nice having loved you
and
i love you still
© 3 May 2013 : william s. peters, sr.
from the "Notes from the Coffee Table Series"
Notes from the Coffee Table # 3
Here i sit
here i sit
contemplating the effects
of change
that has come into our lives
you have chosen a new path
and left me at a juncture
where i too must
decide my direction
and press on
last night
as i lay my head
upon my pillow
i could not help but feel
the silence
the solitude
that such an empty bed
evokes
i have become so accustomed
to the touching
the caresses
the strokes
of each other’s consciousness
because we were present
but you are not here
save for the haunting
daunting
flaunting memories
of what used to be
i found myself indulging
in the divulging
that i too have dwelled
perhaps too much
in that void
of what may be
that chasm
of the expectant me
who has went to sleep
yes i too took you
took us
for granted
i could go on
sharing in this note
i now write
about my struggles last night
that lasted to the dawn
of a new day
but it did not feel so new
and i knew
it was because you
were not there
the Sun did greet me
in spite of me
and what i may have thought
or been thinking
as it was winking at me
between the slats
of the blinds
i forgot to draw them closed
as i have now closed a portion of my heart
which is no longer open
to experience
my perceived hurt
in your absence
yes i am now absent
from the classroom
where i thought
i have come to learn
of my authenticity
which i implicitly
pursued
but what i was pursuing
was my visions
my thoughts
my dreams
and though it may seem
that they were once One
i now know this was not
an ultimate truth
nor a sustaining reality
devoid of pain
yes, now as i examine
the insanity of my falsehood
which i embraced
with a certainty
i must confess,
for i now see
the inanity
of what we men
come to believe
if no one stirs
the conscious stew
we are cooking
but when it is all said and done
i will deliberately come undone
that i may remake my self
mold my self
without an exacerbescence
that only i can conjure
so for as sure
as i sit here in reflection
introspectively inspecting
with retrospection
at the intersection of change
correction is not what i need
nor seek
i just wish to peek
at my self
and the rock that is missing
from my life
that i thought was you
so now, here i sit
at the Coffee Table of my life
writing another Note
in consternation
a compilation of me
looking at me again
these are my Notes from the Coffee Table
© 6 May 2013 : william s. peters, sr.
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