Ther Vine Keeper

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Thursday, September 20, 2012

but you wanna run from your self

but you wanna run from your selfell there is

it was an perplexuous situation
one i would not wish on
any human being

as i stood before the seat
of karmic judgment
i was forced to look reflectively
at my own experiential-ness

retribution was mine to exact
upon my lesser self

the years and times flashed before me
and i had to answer
for each fleeting moment
of my life
my actions
my thoughts
my wishes
and all the misgivings
i ever conjured from nothingness
to something-ness

most of what i saw
had no validity
nor purpose

i saw my vanities
my disdain
my indifference
and my lack of compassion
in times . . .
when it was such an easy thing
to give

i was also allowed to visit
the well of abundant love
that i always knew
resided in me
and i saw my small selfish self
holding on
hoarding it
like it was a treasure
and i saw the measure
of my smallness

more or less
the gift is in giving
i always knew this
but never the less
i must confess
i did not
when i had the ability
to do so

so in the end
and summation of things
it was i that suffered
as my soul was buffered
cloaked with shadows
of my own consciousness
that refused
to let loose
and share
my sovereign fare
and cares
like the wonderful lights
we were created to be
in the image

this all happened
in the flash of stillness
where time had no import
that fleeting millisecond
felt like a million years

i saw tears in the souls of friends
and i offered no respite
nor comfort
nor now
and somehow
my own inner anguish
though not cute
was quite acute

know that it is never cute
when we delude ourselves
into believing
we are not a part of
the continual fabric
of Creation’s continuum flow

and this i know
and have come back to tell

whatever hell there is
it is in you
waiting for you
to continue the venue
of walking towards it
or away

the way to our ascension
is calling us
with each breath
each heart beat
with a repleteness
that will more or less
fulfill this quest
of what we were sent here to do

do you hear it
don’t fear it
for fear is what
they want you to do
live your lesser you
that they may be glorified

so love
offer a hand
any damn time you can
and when you can’t
let it become your intent
for we were meant to be
the Creators
the Progenitors
of the path we travel

and thus we can avoid
those perplexuous situations
where there is no way out
but you wanna run from your self

© 20 September 2012 : William S. Peters, Sr.

ell there is
it is in you
waiting for you
to walk towards ithe

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