Ther Vine Keeper

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Sunday, July 22, 2012

for me . . .

this was inspired / sparked by a "Right Write" of Jamie Bond's  . . .
thank you.

for me . . .

i was not the best of Husbands
nor was i the best of Fathers
but i was both

i was not the best of friends
with my mate,
for many times
i could have listened
and did not.
i could have gave more
and for some reason
i would not
could not
for something inside me
perhaps told me
i should not

Me was in the way.

the memories i conjure
i am sure
are quite self serving
and may not be deserving
but just the same
i would rather have you here
to hear you call my name
and i would answer
truly i would

i still call yours
in my sleep
my dreams
and i await your reply

i want to hear your voice again
caress my ears
and embrace these fears
i have been living with
without you

i can not deny this
for in my imaginings
you were the bliss
i never quite fully appreciated
my God, how i long to kiss
you again

it is the little things
i hold to
i can still smell you
in my presence

i guess that is a present
from God

i close my eyes
and i am taken back
to those little idiosyncrasies
of your behaviours
like that of your soft museful smile
and your endearing touch
which i miss soooooooooo much

why, even the way you walk
and the way you spoke to me
talked to me
stroked me
with your heart
your emotions
your thoughts
your spirit
your footsteps
i still hear it
hear them
in the hallways
of my memories
coming my way

so even if i am not deserving
of these enriched embraces
of times past
of you
i shall selfishly
hold on to them
and let no one
take them from me

for some times
many days
it is all i have
that gets me through
and i thank you
for sharing
that journey with me
that small piece of your life
that gift you gave to me
of your love
and your heart
your self

and though the occasion has past
as has the opportunity
to share my new
better self with you
i want you to know
that i am still working
on me
in the memory of you
and the memory
of who i used to be

i shall strive
to stay alive
to live
as a better Husband
a better Father
a better Friend
a better Man
for me
for the world

© 22 July 2012 : William S. Peters, Sr.

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