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Saturday, October 13, 2012

as i scream

as i scream

i walk into the vast
seemingly endless Canyons
of my thoughts
and i scream
finding solace of some sort
in the reflective reverberations
these un-anointed vibrations
which bring to me
no usable return

i am seeking a reasonableness
but i am haunted
for all i hear
is this voice of my own
visiting upon me
time and time again
with a fading frequency
that rings of no validity

i scream again
God, don’t you hear me
i stand in your valley

my eyes are not completely open
i think
so that “Shadow of Death” . . .
evades me
like a leper
in a colony of nubile virgins

do i soil this ground i walk upon ?
how can that be
when i traipse through this life
as one of the dead

perhaps it is my deaf ear
that which i have turned to you
many times before
in our past relationship

may i offer my apologies

there is a putrid smell
that they tell me exists
where you have stored your fruit
and it rots
if this be true
most certainly you know i must ask
why ?

my arrogance at times become me
and you too my Father
for what am i . . .
but of your ilk ?

i came seeking a resolution
a way of reconciliations
a solution
to that which binds me
to this cyclic expression
they call life
but somehow i know this too
to be a lore foregone
by errant teachings
from those who knew you not
as well

so they resigned themselves
to tell of their surmisings
no surprisings here
for the chastisings of my life
do seem a bit
out of sort
and an incongruous
eclectic superfluous
non symbiotic quixotic
dance of the fools
as does the schools
they teach us in

is that the Sin
that we listen to them
instead of you
this i think we knew to be true

so here i am
for appearances sake
no working phone
upon which i can reach you
and teach you
how to answer to my calls
which incidentally
i will be doing often
from this point on

and by the way
thank you for this little chat
and please don’t hold
my sarcastic act
against me
when i come to this
searching for you
searching for reason
searching for me
and my voice

as i scream

© 13 October 2012 : william s. peters, sr.

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