rend my consciousness

rend my consciousness

i rend my consciousness

seeking answers to questions

i can not even formulate

so i cling to a single word

that has celebrated man’s quest

since the dawn of time

why ?

the juxtapositions we occupy

built upon the foundations of uncertainties

of understanding and belief

offers no respite

from our self damnations

we submit our souls to the winds

the winds  laden with the dust

that fills the eye

that champions the wavering

of our embraced creations of knowledge

for we are blinded

and have lost our way

and i ask

what exactly does man really know

what truth do we embody

will last forever

in the ever lasting

and just how long is everlasting any way

will i have to sit in this silence

where the voice

i long to hear speak audibly

with instruction

of which way i should walk

or should i just sit and wait

my that is a long time

and again i ask

why ?

there is a longing in my soul

and it seems that i was born with it

and it has grown ever so restless

in these days and times

and every time i am reminded of my disorientation

as i take my fixations back from the world

and the deafening stillness

of that place where nothing moves

or soothes

nor fills the deep grooves

life has cut into my heart

is saddening

and somewhat maddening

for it is answers i seek

of which there is no doctrine

no man made opinionated interpretive salve

that can satisfy this ache i have

to but touch that which is Holy

and perhaps Kiss the Face

of my maker

and whisper in His ear

a secret i have held within

since the days of  the Jin

has been vanquished from alternative realities

and this desire

that has possessed me in a raging longing

to right the wronging

of these jaded perspectives

allowed to exist

will not desist

until Bliss unpacks her bags and moves in

and pays the mortgage for this humble abode

called me

and provides the deed indeed

that the seeds of my thoughts,

my dreams

and my aspirations

for goodness

can be planted in the garden out back

with no thought

nor concerns

nor worries

of being possessed

or repossessed again

by illusion

and i will rest my mind upon this hope

and each day as we cast them to the winds

that they may be fulfilled

we will cope

with the nonsense

that which is allowed by the collective

of energy not employed

and though annoyed

with the whole

i do know it is me

the ‘i’ in me

that must do my part

and examine the finite nuances

of my own contributions

as i . . .

rend my consciousness

© 27 April 2011 : William S. Peters, Sr.