i can not explain

i can not explain

no, i did not mean to hurt you

no i did not mean to make you cry

i know the words i spoke

were mean

callous

insensitive

and bitter

and i can not take them back

all i can now do

is live here in regret

but i can not

no i can not

take them damn words back

i have said i am sorry

a million times a day

since that day

when my tongue

went wayward

there are a million excuses

i can come up with

but none of them

can take away this sorrow

they did not yesterday

they did not today

and i know they will not

tomorrow

i have tried to reason

with myself

season after season

since that day

and i can not explain

the pain i feel

when i face my self

i have long ago

stop looking in mirrors

for i do not like what

nor who i see

and though i believe

i have become a better man

here i still stand

with this burden

upon me

that i can not escape

yes, i can not escape

that day

this day

nor tomorrow

and

i can not explain

i have tried forgiveness

and God

and Prayer

Self Talk

a New Walk

yet i can not walk away from that damn memory

of the things i said

to you

the words still dance in my head

as does the picture of your tears

after all these years

and i still

. . . can not explain

© 22 September 2012 : William S. Peters, Sr.

inspired by Rachelle Ferrel’s Song “I Can Explain”

http://youtu.be/w2uD_MUu55U